” I never considered defeat and I remove from my vocabulary such words and phrases as quit, cannot, unable, impossible, out of the question, improbable, failure, unworkable, hopeless, and retreat.” -Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman in the World, Chapter 10: the scroll marked 3
A few of these words have crossed my mind and I have considered… I don’t even want to spell it out. As I type this right now, I can’t help the tears pooling in my eyes and cascading down my cheeks. I have not been as faithful to the regiment as I have led on, and I’m not sure if can keep paying for that. I’m contemplating on starting over next September.. but these tears are screaming for me to keep moving forward. I enjoy the webinars and the community. I’m at war with myself. Should I just come back next year? I don’t want to leave! I want to keep moving forward.
I may be able to Pay It Forward now, I’m not so sure about next time. I’ve heard life can be uncertain like this, I don’t want to think like that. I choose to not believe that! Now the tears have stopped and I’ve calmed down, I know what I’m going to do. I no longer consider defeat as an option, I only consider winning! I’m going to keep moving forward!
” I have been given eyes to see and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartache are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise. I will no longer be fooled by the garments they wear for mine eyes are open. I will look beyond the cloth and I will not be deceived. I am nature’s greatest miracle.” -the scroll marked 4
The Tower of Babel, I barely recall the story and Mark described it brilliantly. United in language and in thought, ending up in a place opposite of the mountains that reach the heavens. Builds a tower, thinking this will help become closer to the heavens. This materialistic way only causes confusion and separation. Ending it in use of different languages and scattered to different corners of the earth.
We are distracted by the materialistic world, confused and separated. We don’t see how much of the miracle we are after years of conditioning. Lost and disoriented, not knowing what it is we really want or what it is we need to do to get what we want.
Just as we start reading the the 4th scroll in Og Mandino’s Greatest Salesman in the World. I think Mark planned this. To specifically start reading this particular scroll at the beginning of the New Year. So we can start off with thinking ourselves as miracles, as one of a kind.
I did not watch the live webinar on the previous Sunday and the day I had set aside to watch the webinar I was told they lost power and had to rerecord it. I didn’t get the chance to watch it until last Sunday. I’m going to take this situation as “DO NOT miss another livestream AGAIN!!!”
That webinar was great. They knew exactly what I’ve started to do, like they were reading my mind. I started to slack off on the Greatest Salesman. I haven’t had a lunch the past week or two, so I’ve only been reading scroll 3 twice a day instead of thrice a day. That was just the start, I also stopped reading my dmp and the Gal in the Glass. No need to point out an obvious one, but my blog is a little past it’s due date. As said in the webinar: if you start to be lazy in one area, you start to slack off everywhere else.
There have been times throughout this journey where I contemplated quitting, but one thought kept me going. “What would you do without your dharma, with the possibility of your dreams never becoming your reality?!” This is what Mark introduced to us. We are to throw our dmp in the trash, make some calls, then take our dmp out of the trash. To feel that emotion of losing our future self, a recent friend. And I have been doing similarly to this the whole time.. Thinking of the loss of my future self to motivate myself to keep moving forward.
Oh how wonderful I felt after meditation! This week with Jana guiding the Meditation for Inner Peace webinar, I could feel my stresses flout away. 🙂 I’ve meditated before a long while ago, and I’ve missed it (that’s if you don’t count the sits).
I felt connected with all the world! Specially knowing that many MKMMA members around the world were joined in this meditation at the same time! I feel more calm and peaceful, and it’s great to have unnecessary stress lifted away. I am definitely going to keep up on meditating!
The regular webinar on Sunday last week was shorter than usual. The reason was so we could spend 50 minutes in front of a mirror reciting a summary of our dharma again and again. I started too but all of a sudden I felt queasy and ended up stopping.
I did finally get the chance to spend 50 min. to my dmp as was instructed. I knew from the start this would help memorize it, but it was definitely weird seeing myself say it in the mirror. This was not expected, since I’ve already been reading in front of the mirror with the Gal in the Glass poem. As the minutes went by though, I started to see it in me…
I mean, I started to believe what I was saying was who I am in the mirror. The dmp that is of my future self stairing back at me! “And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test if the gal in the glass is your friend.” I wouldn’t say I’m 100% there, but I’m getting closer 🙂
Even though I know “In truth one step at a time is not too difficult.” As said in the Greatest Salesman in the World, I feel myself growing impatient with anticipation! Waiting for my dmp start showing in my life. Then wanting to do nothing when I don’t see the evidence.
I remind myself that “I am the rain drop which washes away the mountain;” Og Mandino states in scroll 3. “the ant who devours a tiger; the star which brightens the earth; the slave who builds a pyramid. I build my castle one brick at a time”.
Even with one brush stroke at a time, I eventually create a masterpiece! As long as I keep moving forward, even my small efforts repeated will turn into success!
Its so weird not having the webinar last Sunday, like I’m missing something. Is it weird of me asking to not have anymore weeks off from the webinars? I understand it can be convenient for the holidays but I felt myself wanting to lose the momentum I have without that motivation I receive from listening to the webinars. I’m even a day behind reading scroll 3 because I didn’t recall on how we switch to the next scroll with the beginning of every month. But I take it as I just needed an extra day with scroll 2! 😉
This is when we’ll start seeing our lives change. We may run into obstacles and challenges, but we will pay no attention to them. We will keep moving forward towards our goals! I haven’t been moving very fast, and I realize that’s okay. As long as I’m moving!
In the webinar this week, they mentioned that you know you’re changing when you have a battle inside your mind against your new blueprint to build your desired future and your old blueprint that keeps you in a stalemate. I thought to myself, “Pshh, that won’t happen to me! I’m too eager to reach my new self, why would I ever want to hold back?”
Well guess what? I’ve really worn out my lazy pants this week. I’ve been doing the readings and exercises but not as stricked as I have and should. I’ve also noticed procrastination has been trying to worm its way through again, part of me is letting it…
That’s when it came to me, “Adamantia! What do you think you’re doing! Just because it’s a holiday doesn’t gives you the reason to fiddle with that old blueprint! Throw that darn thing away already!!!!”
So as you can read, I gave myself a stern talking to. It also helps when I have someone along side me through this Adventure, you know who you are! 😉
This week I was able to go on the webinar for the speed reading class! When I heard about being able to read faster I jumped to the chance!
When I was younger, I had been told I was slow for my age when it came to reading and other intellectual subjects. I believed it and I never got faster. All my life I had been repeating “I’m slow” in my head and it wasn’t until MKMMA when it finally hit me. I vowed every time that phrase would try to creep into my thoughts I would replace “slow” with “fast!” At least the good thing was, even though they considered me slow, I was always an ‘A-B’ student:)
In the beginning of the speed reading class, I read 80 words/min. By the time the class ended with everything I learned, I read 120 words per minute! Some of you may think thats not much, but it made me feel extremely happy!!!
The one thing I still struggle with is skimming instead of reading word for word. I tend to read inside my mind as if I’m performing it out loud. But I’m working at it and not giving up! 😀
This week was the start of the second scroll in Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman In The World, it’s focuse is Love.I feel bliss when I’m reading it. The emotion of love flows through me when ever I read it. I have a craving to share that love with everyone I meet!
“I will greet this day with love in my heart.”
There’s a reason why this particular line is repeated about 7 times. This reminds me to be happy and excited when I wake up every morning to go to work, instead of being negative and dragging myself out of bed. This scroll in itself has helped me so greatly already!
“And how willdo I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You.”
This is my favorite section in scroll two. I’m sure some of you may not agree. It can definitely be a challenge to say “I Love You” to a complete stranger, even if it is in silence. The reason it’s my favorite is it gives me the excuse to love everyone. Whether they are just passing through on my life’s journey or joining me for longer.
Reading this back to myself I realized how odd it must sound to want to love everyone. Though I don’t think it’s uncommon. I know this may sound like I’m assuming, but I believe deep down everyone wants that freedom to love. Situations happen where they start to fear giving love out to anyone. Afraid of getting hurt and/or rejected. Also the conditioning we’ve received as children and even now.
I know that unless they’re blood related or my boyfriend, I’ve had trouble saying “I love you” in reply to someone who says it out of friendship.
I end up avoiding the phrase or feeling awkward after saying it.
I do love my friends, so why does that awkward feeling appear? Because of the conditioning I had growing up, maybe? Being told that the word “Love” is very serious and that its ONLY meant for that special someone. It is a serious word, a powerful word, but it isn’t ment for just that special someone!
Besides, I feel so happy and joyful sharing my love with everyone. Becoming united in a way!